Ilamat 1:
Before my brother passed away my grandmother on my father's side alreadi ahd an ilamat the night before. she dreamt dat someone in baju kurung or malay traditional clothes opened de door and smiled at her before waving. the person was smiling. she cant reli see whether it was my brotehr but hey wat are the chances it was some odd dream? YA slim so go figure...then, she got the news the next night when my mum called my first uncle as she is staying with them now.
Ilamat 2:
My parents good friend, Auntie Nissa had it on the night our family got the news,after we performed the tahlil which is basically a prayer for my brother. Auntie Nissa and Uncle Ishak have been very very supportive towards our family. They have, on countless times helped our family either financially or emotionally and this was no exception. they brought their maid and along
Ilamat 3:
This happened to one of my neighbours who used to live on the same floor as us and took care of my sis before. She is now living in Joo Chiat which is her orginal house where the Sengkang house is her daughter's. So on the 7th day, we muslims will once again held a kenduri which is a gathering to perform the tahlil once again. So after praying the tahlil for my brother, she had a dream where my brother was smiling at her and not saying a word.
Ilamat 4:
One of my older cousins on my mother's side was so badly affected by my brother's demise that on the day we had the news he refused to come to our house because he couldnt face us. My late brother really looked up to him and they were very close becasue my Auntie of his mother took care of my brother when he was young. So they grew up together and its no surprise of their close relationship. thus, on the morning before he left for taiwan he went ot my aunie's hse to see their family. at that time i was ahving school so i didnt go. So as my bro was walking to my their house, my cousin saw him and wanted to say hi but my bro was walking to fast. Also, my cousin had to go work already and thought there will be another day to say hi. how wrong he was... imagine how he must have felt that he just gave up a chance to say hi to my brother for the last time...
so then during the funeral, he was one of the people hu got to see my bro's body, when i came in my brother was already wrapped up in the customary white cloth. During that time, he kissed my brother's forehead and held him so tightly that he was on the verge of breaking down. it was tough for me to see my cousin like that although i was in no better shape. since then, he felt damn guilty for not acknowledging my brother when he saw him at the void deck and it had been eating away at his conscience ever since. so much so that he couldnt stay at home and was always restless. my mum and Aunt couldnt do anything because he alone had to deal with this. Yesterday night, he had a headache and went to sleep early but before that he honoured my brother by praying a verse from the Quran which is Al-Fateha. that night, he had an ilamat. It was in a kampung and our two families had a kampung each. he was going back to his kampung when he saw my brother walking back. then, he shouted, ISZ! my brother turned and my cousin embraced him tightly. That small gesture was so significant because he did not have the chance to do dat when he was living. thus, myh cousin hugged him so tightly that it felt SO REAL... and he was crying when he woke up. My cousin called my mum after he went back from work and my mum was crying too. She told him that it was a sign that my brother does not fault him for not greeting him that fateful day adn he should no longer blame himself for not doing so. I cried when my mum told us in the car. It was so kind of my brother to do dat...GOD if onli my heart can be half as good as his... haix...
Ilamat 5:
My sister had a dream about my brother too but she was quite incoherent when she was telling me so de details are abit sketchy. she told me that abang was just smiling and waving at her.
Well, after so many incidences of ilamats i began to wonder why i haven gotten one and dats when my heart begins to tremble and my eyes begin to water... because i feel im not close enough or not sad enough or not deserving enough to warrant an ilamat from him. i no i dont blame him casue i haven exactly a smiles and huggs kinda sis but i still feel kinda sad... i wan so much jus to see his face once again...but it comforts me to noe that my mum and dad hasnt gotten an ilamat too... okay dat was damn mean. aniwae, everything happens for a reason and dere must be a reason why i don have it YET. the closest thing i had was that i dreamt of me and my sis taking a bus in an interchange gg to the cmetery to visit my brother. However, i didnt see my brother, so i'm still praying.
till now, i still experiences some moments whereby i feel my brother is still alive, just gone for awhile... i guess maybe dat instance is when my brother's spirit is standing wif me =) thank god i have a guardian angel wif me. so i'm hoping my parents can have an ilamat too to show how happy he is in good old heaven sitting by our maker and watching upon us =)
Just now when i was gg back home in bus 156, i was just thinking about everything about how my brother died so prematurely at the peak of his life and without wanting to.. i broke down...
the tears juz stung me so fiercely how it isnt fair he had to go before enjoying so many things in life. he was a good person through and through and i sometimes wished it was me who went instead...haix.
Pls God i pray of you to help me go through this tough period with determination and wen i feel like crying pls send a sign to bring my spirits up again. Amin.
-You've been there It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true-
2 comments:
Like I said, you have to be prepared to see him too, my dear. (:
yup yup i guess i was prepared to see him and in the end i did =))) weeeee! heh. will blog abt it ya? =)
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